Let me start by saying I realize that nobody gets to choose the family they are born into and with that family comes certain ways of life and beliefs that as a child you have no choice to learn and embrace… After all you have nowhere else to go and know nothing except what your parents force down your throat. And the reason I say that expression is that growing up JW is basically being born into a CULT… If you don’t know much about them then let me drop a little knowledge on you.
From a very young age you are conditioned to go out and knock on people’s doors and try to assimilate them into the most “backwards way of thinking” that I can imagine… You are basically separated from all the “normal” kids when you are sent to the library because ALL holidays have pagan origin and therefore are forbidden to participate in. You can’t even celebrate your BIRTHDAY for christ’s sake… of course we didn’t think too much of it early on because we had been force fed their bullshit from the day we were born. But the joke was on them because while they thought they were sending this little girl off to the library to read nice things and keep her safe from the PAGANISM taking place in the other room, she was researching and trying to make sense of the war that was raging in her brain…
Now you might be thinking at this point wait a minute didn’t you say that you just started your transition just a few years ago?? So why are you referring to yourself as a little girl and using female pronouns to describe your childhood?? Well let me make this as plain as I can… I have ALWAYS known I was female and that being the case I was forced to present myself as a male for most of my life. So I don’t see my transition as becoming a woman, I see it as removing that fake male facade that I have been forced by my parents, religion and societies expectations to present. I AM WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR!!! 🙂
The JW’s teach that gays & transgender people are an abomination and that anything outside of their “normal” circle is not ok with God. Hell if it was legal they would probably still support the extermination of us as a whole… Why would I say something so damning? Well it’s quite simple actually that they believe that ANYONE who is not a JW will not survive the end of the world because only they have found the true way to worship God and so the rest of us filthy sinners won’t stand a chance…
Still wonder why I left???
Anyway I could rant about my extreme dislike of the JW religion for days because of what it took from me and forced me to endure. But that’s not what this blog is about, it’s about how I overcame all this shit to emerge as the beautiful soul I know I am today!
I just wanted to give you all just a little taste of what I have dealt with and why it has made this journey so much more difficult to travel. The JW’s will play a very prominent role in this story but this is not about them.
I mentioned earlier about many impromptu dress-up sessions in my mothers closet and trust me people there were many of them. Some she participated in and some others she did not. I’m not going to go into the vivid details that still remain in my mind to this day but I know that these memories remain because they were powerful and though most parents may say it was innocent harmless fun and there is no way you could know this at such a young age, those were the ONLY memories I really remember from my childhood with my real mother. Like many children my parents got a divorce when I was very young age and there are so many painful moments that I have chosen to repress or only share with my therapist… TO BE CONTINUED
OK so this post was probably already too long but honestly I’m so anxious to tell the world my story I am pretty much just vomiting words at this point. Gonna try to make this more compact and clean it up for shorter easier reads in the future. Quickly want to thank all of you that have given me such positive feedback and please make sure to follow me and share this blog with anyone you think will either enjoy it or in someway benefit from reading it… Also these posts may be coming fast and furious as my goal is at this point to post one once a day! Love you all!!
HUGS ERICA 🙂